In August a friend sent me a link to this Daily Shout, the online arm of The New Yorker’s beloved Shouts & Murmurs humor column. It’s titled “More From the Makers of Relax Tea,” and lists teas designed to allay anger in increasingly desperate doses. This inspired my own collection of perimenopausal tea names, as shown here.

WTF White Tea

I Never Knew Pores Could Get This Big Oolong

Is It Just Me Or Do These Pants Seem Tight Green

Battle of the Mid-Section Bulge Boysenberry

Ugh I’m Sweating Again It’s Another Hot Flash Spiced Chai

AARP-Approved Decaf Black

Xanax Infusion